


the one that got away

by loverman



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Artist Catra (She-Ra), Break Up, F/F, Fluff and Angst, I mean the lyrics are never explicitly referenced but it basically is one yes lmfao, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kissing, Lesbian Adora (She-Ra), Lesbian Catra (She-Ra), Making Out, Neck Kissing, Sad Ending, Songfic, Teen Romance, Underage Drinking, they do indeed make out in her mustang to radiohead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:13:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25744144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loverman/pseuds/loverman
Summary: She felt alive. She felt free. She felt good, better than she ever had, actually. She felt like she could do anything, accomplish anything. She felt like she was on top of the world, like they were on top of the world; her and Adora, creating their own art, their own memories, their own lives together.this is based on 'the one that got away' by katy perry
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 83





	the one that got away

She’d graduated a week ago. 

She’d graduated a week ago and had been looking forward to the rest of her life; to never having to open another textbook, to getting to hang out with friends every night, drinking and laughing and smoking, to creating art, creating _her art_ , to travelling the world doing whatever the hell she wanted. 

And then she met Adora and everything felt… different. 

She felt alive. She felt free. She felt good, better than she ever had, actually. She felt like she could do anything, accomplish anything. She felt like she was on top of the world, like they were on top of the world; her and Adora, creating their own art, their own memories, their own lives together. 

They met under unlikely circumstances, or rather, very, very likely circumstances for anyone other than Catra, who always made a point of avoiding going to parties. Her best friend, Scorpia, had decided to throw a graduation party for all the seniors at their school and had begged her, all week, to be around for it. Catra eventually gave in, agreeing only because she assumed it’d be somewhat of a small gathering; before she knew it, everyone from freshmen to juniors were there, along with a whole bunch of random kids from other high schools in their town. 

“God, this fucking sucks.” She mumbled, taking a sip from whatever drink Scorpia had handed her when she’d arrived, leaning over the railing on the patio. 

“Well, I wouldn’t say that.” Some unfamiliar voice came from beside her, “Might hurt the hosts’ feelings.” The person, who was now also leaning over the railing, elbows planted firmly on the painted wood, glanced down at Catra with a friendly smile. 

Catra scoffed, rolling her eyes at the blonde, “I know her, you couldn’t hurt her feelings even if you tried. She’d probably just think you were,” She made air quotations, “’Having a bad day’ and ‘didn’t mean it’.” She shrugged, and silently wondered why she was even talking to this stranger. “She’s too nice for her own good.”

The blonde chuckled, standing so close that Catra could practically feel her breath on her face, “Doesn’t sound like such a bad thing, if you ask me.” 

“And who _are you?_ ”

“Adora,” She stuck a hand out, “You?”

“Catra.” She didn’t bother to shake Adora’s hand, simply turned to stare at whatever she’d been staring at before the blonde came over (which was, evidently, nothing).

Adora put her hand back down, following Catra’s lead and looking back out at the driveway in front of them, “Did you just graduate?”

“Most of the people here did.” 

“Where’re you headed next?”

“What do you mean?” 

The blonde glanced down at her again, eyebrow raised, “Which college are you attending in the fall?” 

Catra met her eyes, “I’m not.” 

“Hm.” She looked like she was thinking something over. “Okay.” She pushed off the railing, suddenly standing up right, “Wanna go make out in my car?” 

Catra bit her lip, considering the offer. “Okay.” 

Scorpia most definitely did not invite Catra to that party thinking she’d end up making out with some random girl in the back of her Mustang. Granted, Catra didn’t think she’d end up this way either, yet there she was, straddling her, kissing down her neck, undoing her stupid ponytail, with some random indie rock song playing quietly through the car speakers yet being drowned out from the even louder Radiohead song echoing out of Scorpia's house. 

“So,” Adora mumbled, biting down on her lip to stop a moan, “Were you at Bright Moon? I’ve-“ Catra bit down just above her collarbone, “Fuck.” She let out a breath, trying to recollect herself, “I’ve never seen you around.” 

“Fright Zone.” Catra whispered against her skin, her hot breath sending a shiver up Adora’s spine. 

“Ah.” Catra kissed down her throat and she found it harder and harder to speak, but still not impossible. “Any plans for the summer?”

The brunette sighed, pulling away to stare down at blue eyes. “Are we here for an interview, or to make out?” 

“Just curious, is all.” 

She rose a brow, “And why’s that?”

“I…” A blush came over Adora’s pale cheeks as she shrugged, not really knowing what to say. 

With another sigh, “I don’t know, probably just gonna make a bunch of art.” 

Adora smiled up at her, and Catra’s not sure why but something about the way those deep blue eyes bore into her own, something about the way Adora’s smile lit up her whole face, something about the way she looked at her with so much wonder and interest, putting all her attention on Catra, made her feel alive. 

“Cool.”

“Yeah,” She couldn’t stop herself from getting a little lost in those eyes, “Can I go back to kissing you now?”

“Sure.” 

She reconnected their lips before Adora could really even finish the word, running her hands through blonde hair, tugging on it slightly to pull her even closer. Adora’s hands landed on her hips, holding her steady, thumbs tracing featherlight circles over the flush of exposed tan skin from Catra’s raised tank top. 

“Take this off, yeah?” 

Catra did as told, taking a moment to smirk down at the other girl after throwing her shirt onto the console behind her, “Look who’s into it now.” 

Catra’s not sure what came over her, really, because she was shirtless, in the middle of Scorpia’s driveway, sitting in some girl’s convertible, and everyone could _see_ them and yet, she couldn’t care less. 

Adora smirked back, “Might I remind you,” Her eyes scanned over Catra’s chest, now clad only in navy sports bra, leaning in to press a kiss just below her sternum, “I’m the one who approached you.” 

Catra’s jaw clenched, making a failed attempt to stop the shiver that rolled down her spine as Adora’s lips brushed against her skin, “Are you implying this was your plan all along?”

Her hands were back on Catra’s hips, pulling her down so she was actually sitting on her lap before peppering kisses from her cleavage up to her jaw. “Maybe it was.” She whispered into her ear, smiling to herself when she heard the shuddered breath that came from the brunette. 

“But maybe,” She pulled away to look Catra in the eye, only to see that her eyes had drifted shut, her lips were slightly parted, and she looked almost completely relaxed. “I was also hoping to get a date with you.” 

Her eyes fluttered open, “Oh, yeah?” 

“Yeah.” 

“And on that date,” She rose a brow, “Could we do more of this?”

“We can do whatever you want.” 

“Hm.” She smirked, “Okay.” 

And then Adora’s mouth was back on hers and she was biting down on Catra’s bottom lip and their eyes met with this look of _want_ and Catra felt like maybe she was falling for this random stranger. Granted, she wasn’t quite sure because she’d never actually felt love before. Then again, she’d also never felt whatever she was feeling with Adora, before. 

They continued for a while and when it got fairly late, Adora offered to drive her home. 

“Let me just go tell my brother I’m taking the car.” She pulled her shirt back on, which had been discarded at some point, “He’s inside with his girlfriend.” 

“Damn.” Catra grabbed her own shirt, “You’re just gonna leave them stranded here? That’s harsh.”

Adora chuckled, “Hey, he can call an uber. Besides,” She locked eyes with Catra again, gently moving her hair out of her face to press a kiss to her lips, “He’ll understand when I tell him I’ve got a pretty girl with me.” And with a wink, she was out of the car, walking towards Scorpia’s house. 

Catra paced her breathing and pulled her phone out send a text.

**Catra: just kissed a girl at ur party**

**Scorpia: omg**

**Scorpia: really!?!?!?**

**Scorpia: who??**

**Catra: idk some blonde chick**

**Scorpia: do you know her nAME!?!?!?**

**Catra: adora**

**Scorpia: omg i know her!!!!!**

**Scorpia: she’s friends with perfuma**

**Catra: cool she’s about to drive me home**

**Scorpia: ur letting a stranger take you home!!?!?!?**

**Catra: you _just_ said she’s friends with ur gf…**

**Catra: oh shit she’s coming back. gotta go**

Catra slipped her phone, which was frantically buzzing with more texts from Scorpia, back into her pocket just as Adora got into the driver’s seat.

She chuckled and looked into the rearview mirror, catching Catra’s gaze, “You gonna stay back there?”

“Maybe,” Catra shrugged, “Makes it feel like you’re my chauffeur.” 

“Ha Ha. Just get in front.” 

With a roll of her eyes, Catra climbed into the passenger’s seat, doing her best not to kick Adora as she moved. “So, what’d your brother say?”

“He’s pissed.” She shrugged as she backed the car up out of the spot, “But I told him that if he doesn’t let us leave, I’ll tell our dads about all the arrows he launched onto the roof.” 

“Your brother plays with arrows?” She scoffed, “What is he, twelve?” 

“Ha, eighteen. He teaches archery at a kids summer camp.” 

They talked all the way to Catra’s place, with Catra interjecting with directions at random points throughout the conversation, about anything and everything they could think of. 

“Okay, go left here.” … “Adora, I said left.”

“Ugh. Okay, it’s chill, there’s a U-turn.” 

Then…

“Alright, here it is again. Take the lef- Oh, my god. Adora, I said take the left!”

“Sorry! Are you sure there isn’t just a second left we can take?”

“No, that’s the only left.”

“U-turn it is, then.” 

And again…

“Adora, what the fuck.”

“What?”

“How the fuck does someone miss the same turn, three times?” 

“I don’t know.” The answer is: you don’t. You miss it three times _on purpose_ so you can spend a little more time with the pretty girl you’re majorly crushing on. “Fuck off. I’ll get it right this time.” And she did, but only because she knew Catra would probably never stop making fun of her if she didn’t. 

Adora asked Catra about her art; something that Catra normally considered somewhat personal and didn’t like to talk about too often, and yet she found herself gushing about it to the taller blonde beside her. 

“I did this mural down by the train station, last summer.” She couldn’t help but smile at the memory, “I had to buy like a ton of paint but it was worth it. Did the whole thing in black and white, it was a bunch of abstract faces, ya know? With all different emotions and shit, then I just grabbed buckets of random bright ass colors and splattered them over the whole thing.” 

“It was chaos, dude. Just a whole mess. But it was awesome, it ended up looking so good, like, better than I even imagined.” Adora glanced at the girl through the corner of her eye, silently admiring how happy the other girl looked. “And it was so fun. God, fuck, it was so fucking fun.” 

“What are you working on now?” 

“I don’t really have a plan yet, I just know I wanna spend this summer doing more shit like that. Just letting my art do its own thing, you know?” She shrugged, “I thought about taking a couple art courses but the last time I did that, the teacher was so fucking pretentious, I couldn’t stand him; didn’t even last more than two sessions before I quit. I wasn’t there to listen to some dude talk about the,” She turned up her chin, putting on an indistinct accent, “artistic symbolism of whatever-the-fuck.” Adora chuckled and Catra joined her. “I just wanna create shit.” 

“That’s really cool.” She glanced over at Catra for real this time before returning her gaze to the road, “I wanna create shit, too.”

“Yeah?” Catra watched her, her lips forming small smile, “You do art?”

“Kinda,” She shrugged a shoulder and pushed her hair out of her eyes, “I wouldn’t say I’m good at it or anything, but I do enjoy it.” 

“Art is all about feelings, dude, there is no good or bad. If you have fun with it, that’s all that matters.” 

Adora let out a short, airy laugh, “Sounds like something someone who’s bad at art would say.”

Shoving her shoulder, Catra scoffed, “Oh, fuck off.” 

Catra learned about Adora’s adoptive brother, Bow, the one who teaches archery, and then she also learned about her twelve other adoptive brothers. 

“…Yeah, so then there’s Richard, he’s a total cheapskate but we love him, and his twin, Hunter, who’s always out, y’know, hunting shit.” Catra couldn’t help but admire the smile playing on Adora’s face as she spoke about her family, “And then we have Henry, he’s like, totally obsessed with chickens. He’s always kinda wanted to be a farmer but our dad, Lance, is allergic to most animals.” 

“Teddy’s just a year older than Bow, he carries this torn up stuffed bear everywhere he goes, even though he’s basically a grown man.” She laughed to herself, “But yeah, then it’s Bow, then me.” 

“You’re the youngest?” 

“Well, technically, no.” She pushed a hand through her hair, “I’m a couple months older than Bow, but our dads adopted me _after_ they’d already had him, so we like to joke that he’s my big-little-brother.” 

“That’s pretty adorable.” Catra grinned at her, and Adora turned to grin back. “Eyes on the road!”

“Right! Sorry.” Adora’s gaze reverted back to the road ahead of them, only for her to glance back at Catra to shoot her another smile, a moment later. 

She also found out that Adora had applied and gotten into her top college, Mystacore University, where she wanted to major in political philosophy and minor in history (though, that was only to appease her fathers). 

“Both my dads are historians, that’s how they met, actually, and all of my brothers followed in that path, too, you know? Well, except Bow, he’s never been into that stuff and he’s really the only one of us that had the guts to tell them…” She thought over her words, “Actually, wait, he didn’t even tell them… Shit, he still hasn’t told them yet. I gotta talk to him about that…” 

“Anyway, I just feel like I gotta include history in my life, _somehow,_ cause if I don’t, I don’t know, I just feel like I’d be disappointing them.” 

“Ya know,” Catra began, staring out the passenger side window, “Your purpose in life isn’t to make _other people_ happy.” 

“What if it is?” 

She turned to look at the blonde, brows furrowed, “It’s not.”

“But, how do you know that for sure?”

“Because that wouldn’t make sense.” She shook her head, “You don’t live for others, you live for yourself.” 

“But if making other people happy, makes someone happy, then what?”

Catra stared at her, Adora stared at the road. “Does making others happy, always make you happy, Adora?” 

A long moment of silence fell over them; Adora never answered the question. She had, however, asked Catra about why she wasn’t planning on attending college, but before she could answer, they’d already made it to her destination (which Catra was silently thankful for). 

“Oh, um…” She looked up at the apartment building through her window, “Ah, this is my place. Thanks for not kidnapping me.” 

Adora chuckled, “Well, I’m seeing you tomorrow, aren’t I? For that date you promised me.”

The two exchanged numbers before Catra got out of the car, which only led to them staying up to text all night (not that Catra minded, it’s summer break, after all).

“Text me when you’re inside, yeah? So I know you made it up safe.” 

Catra let out a soft airy laugh, “It’s just a couple flights of stairs but sure, idiot.” She leaned forward, kissing Adora one last time before leaving. 

**Catra: wasn’t murdered**

**Adora: good to know**

**Catra: don’t text and drive, idiot**

**Adora: I’m not, I’m still downstairs**

**Catra: tf? why**

**Adora: was waiting for ur text**

**Adora: leaving now tho**

**Catra: god ur so lame**

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey,” Catra began, trying to focus more on her words and less on the hands making their way under her shirt or the lips making their way down her neck, “Adora?

“Hm?” Adora mumbled, softly blowing hot air onto a hickey she’d left on Catra’s neck the other night, as Catra clenched her jaw in an attempt to hold in a moan. 

Adora had picked Catra up for their fourth date that week and driven them down to a lookout point, about thirty minutes away. Then she’d pulled Catra on top of her and kissed her like she’d been thinking about doing it the whole ride there. 

“Can I say something… kinda random?” And with that, Adora’s hands with back at her sides and she was giving Catra her full, undivided attention. 

“Shoot.” She grinned at the brunette, who couldn’t help but return the look. 

“I, uh…” She pushed hand through her hair, averting her gaze so she wouldn’t have to stare into Adora’s big blue eyes; something about looking into them made her nervous. “I just wanted to say that I really like you and…” Adora’s smile widened further, putting Catra’s heart into a fritz, “I really hope whatever we’re doing… I don’t know, I know it’s only been, like, a week, I just hope we keep on doing it.” 

“Might be a little easier if you didn’t stop me,” Adora joked, letting out an airy laugh even as Catra rolled her eyes and shoved at her shoulder. “I really like you, too, Catra. Like, a lot. Like, I’m pretty sure my brother was gonna kill me this morning because I wouldn’t shut up about you at breakfast.” 

“Arrow?”

“Bow.” 

“Right.” She tapped a finger to her temple, “The one you ditched at the party, thinking you’d get lucky.” At that, Adora began stuttering and sputtering out excuses about how she wasn’t expecting anything else to happen that night or something of the sort, Catra wasn’t sure because she wasn’t listening, she was simply laughing at the nervous blush on her face. “I’m joking, idiot.”

“You’re an ass.” 

“Tell me something I don’t know.” 

At some point, they found themselves lying across the hood of Adora’s car, well, Catra was across the hood of the car, Adora was planked above her, kissing her with a certain fervor that had Catra’s blood rushing to her cheeks. 

Again, “Hey, um… Adora?”

“Hm,” 

She swallowed down a lump in her throat, “This is great and all, but the last place I’d wanna fuck you for the first time is on top of this hunk of junk, so if you could tone it down a little before I pop a fuse, that’d be nice.” Adora pushed herself up and off Catra, opting to lie beside her instead, a smug smirk playing across her lips now. 

“Pop a fuse, huh?” 

“Oh, fuck off.” 

“Gladly.” She leaned forward one more time to kiss the corner of Catra’s mouth, before lying on her back to stare up at the sky above them. “And I’ll have you know; my car is not a hunk of junk.” 

“Is that so?” She glanced back at the car, “You realize one of your side mirrors is being held up by duct tape?” 

“Okaaaay, so he’s gotten a little scuffed up over the years, he’s still super reliable.” She shrugged, patting the hood a couple times, “He’s gonna get me to MU in a couple months.”

Catra’s heart dropped. “Oh, yeah, right, MU…” She looked at Adora through the corner of her eye, “You’re planning on driving?” She’d barely known Adora for a week and yet the idea of her leaving in a few months made her feel overwhelmingly distraught. When she and Adora were kissing, she’d felt as though they were the only two people on the planet, the only two people who mattered. She felt like they could just sit there and kiss each other’s problems away; kiss under their lips were numb and their mouths were dry; kiss until Adora was hooked on the taste of her tongue and vice versa. Obviously, that wasn’t the case, she knew that, but a part of her really wanted to believe that time might stop, just for them, so that they’d be able to enjoy each other’s company for a little while longer. 

“Of course, it’s not like I’m gonna leave him with my dads, they’d probably sell him for scraps or something.” 

“Isn’t it, like, a super long drive? You could fly there and have your dads ship the car over or something.” She shrugged, “It’d save you the gas money.” 

Adora chuckled, “Pretty sure paying for a one-way flight and for shipping an entire vehicle would cost way more than a few hours of gas. Besides, I love road-trips.” 

“I don’t know, man, just think about it.” And with that, she hopped up off the hood and instead went to lie down in the backseat of the car. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the silence for a whi- About a minute, before Adora was standing by the car door, staring down at her. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing.”

“Catra, c’mon.” 

“Dude, it’s nothing.” 

Adora groaned, opened the car door and pulled Catra up to a sitting position before scooting in beside her. “Tell me what’s wrong.” 

“What the hell are you, my therapist?”

“Just stop being a baby and tell me.” 

“I’m pissed you’re leaving, okay?” She huffed, “I was just telling you how much I like you and next thing I know, you’re talking about leaving and one-way-tickets and I…” She ran a hand over her face in embarrassment, “I don’t know. I know I have no right to be upset over this and I know that I barely even know you and I know we’ve literally just been making out for a few days but I don’t want it to stop, alright?” 

“Who said anything about it stopping?” Adora shrugged, “Catra, I’ve still got, like, another two and a half months here. And I like you a lot, too, I just told you that. We’ll figure this stuff out, okay?” She pulled an arm over Catra’s shoulders, holding her closer, “We have time, I promise.” 

Catra let her head rest against Adora’s shoulder, “Okay.” 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Holy shit.” Adora’s jaw slacked as she stared up at the mural on the wall in front of them, “Dude. You painted this?” Catra nodded, though Adora wasn’t even looking at her. “Holy shit.” She stepped up to the wall, raising a hand to brush over the piece, feeling the unusual texture of the paint. Catra stood back and watched, admiring the way Adora admired her art. 

“They call it a popcorn wall.” Catra muttered, suddenly approaching the wall, standing beside Adora, “It’s got this bumpy raised texture, I figured it’d be a cool place to do this piece; gives it kind of a unique look.” She chuckled to herself, “I had to do, like, a million coats though cause it’s kinda hard to paint on with my shitty brushes.” 

“I love it.” Adora whispered under her breath, eyes tracing over each stroke, completely mesmerized. 

Catra grinned up at her, crossing her arms over her chest proudly, “Yeah, I love it, too.” 

They stopped by the dollar store, on their way back to Adora’s place, to pick up a few paint supplies; new brushes, canvases, mini easels, and whatever paints caught their eye. Adora made a comment about how they’d probably be better off buying paints that cost more than a buck-fifty, Catra said it didn’t matter what they used because “art is art”. 

Lying on their stomachs across Adora’s bedroom floor, painting on their respective canvases, talking and laughing and enjoying being in each other’s company, felt like a dream. Catra couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt this happy. There she was, doing her favorite thing, with her favorite person, on some random afternoon, after having smoked a joint, as some random vinyl scratched against the needle of Adora’s shitty record player, and she was just… happy. She didn’t have to worry about grades or classes or teachers, or whatever else normally plagued her mind. She could just be here, with Adora, and be happy. Something about it brought her an almost overwhelming amount of peace, and she allowed her mind to wander a little as she worked on her art. Meanwhile, she could feel Adora’s gaze on her, but she didn’t bother looking up, simply continued painting. 

“Whatcha lookin’ at?” 

“You.” She could hear the smile in her voice. “You’re beautiful.” 

“You’re a sap,” Catra mumbled, dipping her brush in a deep shade of blue, “and you’re supposed to be painting.” Adora silently threw an unused paintbrush at her. “Throwing shit at me doesn’t count.” 

“Oh, yeah?” Adora tackled her and turned her over so she was on her back before wiping the brush in her hand, which had a soft shade of purple on the bristles, all over her face, grinning down at the brunette’s shocked expression. “Does this count?” 

“Oh, my god.” Catra tried to fight her off but Adora’s knees were planted firmly on either side of the her torso. “Adora, fuck.” She made an attempt to wriggle away, laughing so hard she could barely get her words out, “Adora, stooop.” Adora caught her hands, which had been playfully shoving at her shoulders, and pinned them down above her head. 

“Adora.” 

They both got quiet for a moment as Adora leaned down, suddenly feeling Catra’s breath hot on her face. Cheeks flushed, pupils dilated, the beat of their hearts moved in sync, slowly becoming the loudest sound in the room as whatever song had been playing faded into the background.

Adora’s eyes slipped down to Catra’s lips, lingering for a moment before meeting her eyes again. Catra bit her bottom lip, swallowing down a shuddered gasp as she tried not to falter under the feeling of Adora’s breath against her skin; “What?” The blonde had dared, raising a challenging brow at the girl below her. 

“Kiss me.” 

Adora smirked down at her, a mischievous glint in her eyes, “Thought you said I was supposed to be painti-“

“Stop being an ass, just do it.” 

Their paintings were long forgotten that night but even Catra, who never started a piece without finishing it, didn’t seem to mind. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Catra and Adora spent pretty much every day together after that first night they’d met, which Catra found hilarious, looking back, because when Adora had first come up to her at Scorpia’s party, she hadn’t even really wanted to talk to her, let alone spend every waking moment with her. But they grew very close very quickly, with Adora introducing her to George and Lance and Bow, as well as all her friends, and Catra becoming a lot more open with Adora about her feelings, her troubled relationship with her shitty excuse for a mother, and really whatever else Adora wanted to know about her. She’d never felt this way with anyone before, never wanted to open up to someone the way she did with Adora. Something about being with her felt so freeing, like she could say or do anything, and everything would be okay because Adora was there with her. 

They never labelled their relationship, even throughout the month they’d spent together, but everyone knew they belonged to each other; everyone knew that Adora was Catra’s girl, and Catra was Adora’s. 

In that month, they’d spent so much time together, in Adora’s house, in Adora’s car, with Adora’s family and friends, that she’d all but moved into Adora’s room at this point…

 _”Hey,”_ Adora picked up after the first ring, _“What’s up?”_

A shaky breath, _”Hey, um…”_

_”Catra? You okay?”_

_”Are you busy?”_

She didn’t even take a moment to think about what she was doing, _”No. Why? You need something?”_

A sniffle. _”Do you think you could come pick me up?”_

Adora nodded, then realized Catra couldn’t actually see her, and said, _”I’ll be right over.”_ She didn’t hang up the phone, though. She stayed on the line with Catra until she’d made it to her apartment, and even then she didn’t end the call until Catra was safely in her passenger’s seat.

“You okay?” Adora rested a hand on Catra’s knee, something she’d gotten into the habit of doing whenever they were driving around together. “I talked to my dads, you can stay with us as long as you need. What happened? Was it your mom?”

Catra swallowed down a lump in her throat as tears began to form in her eyes again. Adora’s heart clenched as she noticed and she quickly added, “We don’t have to talk about it if you’re not ready, just…” Catra put her hand over Adora’s, assuring her she’d be okay, and Adora twisted her hand to intertwine their fingers, shooting Catra a gentle smile before starting her car up again and driving off. 

Adora drove them back to her house, opting to completely forget about the errands she’d been running when Catra had called; they were all things she could do some other time, anyway, at a time when Catra didn’t need her. Instead, they laid in bed together for the remainder of the day. 

Catra was taking a nap and Adora was sitting beside her on her bed, holding her hand, pressing kisses to her knuckles, and playing with her fingers, all the while trying her best not to wake her.

“I don’t know if this is weird or too soon or something,” She began whispering to herself, softly kissing Catra’s palm, “But I really think I’m falling in love with you.” She sighed, biting her lip as she glanced at the relaxed look on Catra’s face, “And I’m really hoping that you’re not just pretending to be asleep right now because, honestly, the only reason I even have the guts to say it out loud is because it’s kinda comforting knowing you can’t hear me.” 

“I promise to tell you soon, though.” She kissed Catra’s hand again, smiling against her skin, “I promise to never stop loving you, Catra.” 

Later, when Catra woke up, Adora kissed her. She kissed her like she was trying to show her how much she loved her, and it didn’t really matter if the kiss did what it was supposed to or not, because Catra already knew what was being said, and Adora knew Catra knew. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a rash decision.

“God, I can’t believe I let you choose the design…” 

It was Catra’s eighteenth birthday.

“Hey, I think it looks cool.” 

She and Adora got matching tattoos.

“Of course, you would.” 

Adora chose the design for them.

“Stop complaining, at least it’s symbolic.”

Catra immediately regretted allowing her to do so when she saw the Mustang logo on her forearm, which was altered to have a unicorn horn and a pair of majestic wings. “How the hell is _this_ symbolic?”

“Dude, we’ve been making out in my Mustang since the day we met, c’mon.”

“You made me get an alicorn tattooed on my body forever because we made out in your car the night we met; are you not hearing how ridiculous that sounds?” Catra questioned her as they stepped out of the tattoo parlor. 

“Yeah, it’s ridiculous. I know that, you know that, the guy that just tattooed us knows that, but it’s on your skin now so shut the fuck up and wear your alicorn proudly.” Adora took both of Catra’s hands in her own, smiling down at her, “Oh, and happy birthday, my love.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” She playfully rolled her eyes at the blonde, leaning in to kiss her. 

Adora had never actually gotten around to telling Catra she loved her after that one afternoon, at least not outright. She did, however, gain a habit of referring to Catra as ‘my love’. Meanwhile, Catra never admitted those words to Adora either, she simply showed her love in more of a physical way; which had quickly become giving Adora a gentle kiss every time she used that specific term of endearment, almost as a silent ‘I love you, too’. It wasn’t the most communicate, or open, or honest way of telling someone you loved them, but it’s what worked for them and they always made sure to never take that for granted. 

The matching tattoos thing was a rash idea. It was stupid and reckless, and they knew that, they just didn’t really care. They were past caring about things like that, they only cared about savoring their time together.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Shhh.” The sound came out in mumbled giggles, “They’ll hear us.” 

The duo had snuck down to the kitchen in the dead of the night, stolen a bottle of Jack Daniel’s from George and Lance’s stash, then climbed out of Adora’s window to get onto the roof. 

“Huh, you weren’t kidding about all the arrows…” Catra had joked when they came across some of Bow’s old equipment, picking one up and throwing it over the edge.

Adora rested on her back, staring up at the stars, allowing Catra to nuzzle into her side for warmth. She held the half-empty bottle of whiskey loosely in one hand, her other arm hanging over Catra’s shoulders, holding her close, fingertips gently grazing over the skin of her bicep. 

“I’m so glad I met you.” She mumbled, pressing a kiss to the other girl’s shaggy brown hair, “I’m so fucking glad.” 

“Me too.” 

Another kiss. “When I’m with you, I just, I don’t know. I just feel so…”

“Free?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.” 

The two sat in silence for a while after that, gazing up at the stars, smiling to themselves, occasionally taking swigs of their shared drink despite the way it continued to burn their throats. Catra let her mind wander, pressing her face into Adora’s side, taking in her scent, silently appreciating the way Adora tightened her grip around her in a promise to keep her safe. 

“Do you believe in destiny?” Adora had wondered out loud, at Catra’s mindless hum, she continued, “Do you think we have our futures written out for us?”

Catra attempted a shrug, though all she did was gently nudge Adora’s side, “I don’t know, I don’t really like to think about the future.” 

“Why not?”

“I just live in the moment.” 

“But don’t you have a plan for how you want your life to turn out?” Adora sounded confused, Catra could almost _hear_ the way her eyebrow quirked.

“Not really. I mean, I know I want to keep making art and I know I wanna be with you, but that’s about it.” She let out a breath through her nose, thinking over her words, “College has never been my thing, I don’t wanna feel tied down to something like that, I wanna be able to do whatever it is I wanna do, whenever I wanna do it. I want to travel the world and make art and leave my mark at different places. With my mom, she always controlled every aspect of my life, ya know? But my art, that was always my thing, it was just for me, and now that I’ve graduated and I’m out of her custody, I finally have the freedom to just… do whatever.” She hummed into the fabric of Adora’s sweatshirt and the blonde giggled briefly at the way it tickled, “What about you, though? I’m guessing you actually have _a plan…_ ”

Adora sighed, sounding happy and content and at peace, “Yeah, well, my plan was always to get into MU, get my degree, get a good job, meet a nice girl, you know the gist.” She chuckled to herself, “Guess I got the order wrong cause I ended up meeting the girl first, though, I wouldn’t call her nice in fear of her kicking my ass.” 

Catra smirked, a playful tinge to her voice, “Smart move.” Then her face dropped a little, “But, uh… MU, huh? That’s getting closer.”

“Yeah.”

She glanced up at the blonde, hoping her worry wouldn’t show in her eyes, “What’s that mean for us?” 

Adora sighed, this time sounding less happy, less content, more frustrated, distraught, like she didn’t know the answer (because she didn’t), “I don’t know.” She met Catra’s gaze, “I know that you mean a lot to me, I know that I wanna keep you in my life, I know that…” The words, the three words Adora wanted so badly to say again, the three words Catra wanted so badly to hear again, remained unspoken but that was okay because from the moment Catra had heard them that one afternoon, when she’d felt so hurt and so broken and Adora had been so gentle and so kind with her, they’d never stopped replayed in the back of her mind. Adora’s promise had never stopped playing in the back of her mind.

Adora smiled down at Catra, a small, soft, sad smile. Catra returned it. 

“I’m your girl, Catra. I’m always going to be your girl.” 

Catra reached over, cradled Adora’s face, brushed her thumb over the flush of her cheek, “I’ll always be yours.” 

Adora talked more about her future at MU, the classes she hoped to take, the memories she wanted to make, all the things she wanted to do with her life, and Catra laid there beside her and pretended like it wasn’t killing her. The thought of losing Adora, of Adora going off to college and forgetting about her, of her leaving and meeting new people, making new friends and finding new girls to fall for, it drove Catra crazy; made her want to cling to the other girl and beg her not to go. But she did nothing. She sat there and listened and willed herself not to let her tears fall. 

When they eventually fell back into comfortable silence, Adora took it upon herself to answer her question from earlier that night.

“I don’t know if destiny’s real, or fate, or whatever else you could call it. I don’t know if our futures are written out for us.” She could feel Catra’s eyes on her, for some reason she didn’t dare meet them. “But I know for sure that we were meant to be in each other’s lives.” 

Catra responded with nothing more than pressing their lips together. 

“God, you just make me so happy, Catra.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“God, fuck you, Catra!” The words were angry, spoken in a tone that was way too loud and coated in far too much venom. “Fuck you! Who the fuck do you think you are?” 

“I don’t understand why you’re getting so mad at me!” 

Adora’s eyebrows rose, her jaw slacked, her tone became incredulous. “You don’t understand why I’m mad? I have worked my whole life for this, I worked my ass off to get accepted into MU, and you thought you could ask me to just give it all up and I wouldn’t get mad?”

It was like any other morning. Catra woke up to Adora staring down at her with loving eyes, gently stroking her hair, mumbling sweet nothings into her ear. They were as happy as ever, until they weren’t. One moment, they were cuddling and kissing and talking about their plans for the day (they were going to meet up with their friends at their usual coffee shop). The next, they’re standing at opposite sides of the room, having a screaming match that definitely would’ve disturbed the rest of the house’s residents if not for both Adora’s fathers being at work and for Bow having spent the night at his girlfriend’s house. 

Catra had asked Adora to consider something. She’d suggested that Adora forget about MU, that she travel the world with Catra instead, that they both take control of their own lives, their own freedom. Adora had pretty much laughed in her face at the idea, and when Catra insisted that she wasn’t joking, that it was a serious proposal she’d thought over herself a handful of times, Adora all but lost her mind at Catra’s insinuation that she could give up on her plans without the bat of an eye. 

“Adora-“

“No, Catra. You can’t possibly expect me to just throw away my future like that.”

“Well, sorry that I’d like to keep you in my life for as long as possible.” 

“I’m _in_ your life, Catra! I’m here! I haven’t even left yet and yet you’re acting like you’re never gonna see me again! You’re the one who’s always saying you like to ‘live in the moment’, so why the hell are you so worried about what might or might not happen when I go to MU?” 

Catra stayed quiet. 

“What? _Now_ you have nothing to say?” She huffed, “God. Fuck. Catra, out of everyone I know, I’d thought _you’d_ be happy for me.” 

“I am happy for you!”

“No. No, you’re not. Cause if you were, you wouldn’t be asking me to just give up on my dreams to sit around and do nothing with you all day, every day, for the rest of my life.” She rubbed a frustrated hand over her face, “Some of us actually have shit we wanna do with our lives.” 

Catra felt her heart clench as she suddenly matched Adora’s level of hurt and anger. “Oh, fuck off.” Adora met her eyes, taken back by the sting in her words. “The only reason you even wanted to get into MU is because that’s your dads’ alma mater. God, you’re even minoring in fucking history to please them! You’re so fucking worried about making other people happy that you don’t even stop to think about yourself for one fucking second.” 

“My future is none of your fucking concern, Catra.” Adora’s jaw clenched, her eyes a steel blue despite the tears welling up in them, “I can make my own decisions.” 

“Yet you don’t.” Catra scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest in an attempt to hide her trembling hands, “You do whatever other people ask of you. You want so badly to be liked that you don’t even give a single fuck about your own health, your own happiness. God, fuck, you’d probably risk your life for someone else without a second thought, huh?” Her tone became more and more condescending, “You’d think of it as some kind of act of bravery, hm? Well, it isn’t one, Adora, it’s cowardly.” 

“You’re a coward.” She shook her head, laughing bitterly even as tears rolled down Adora’s cheeks, “You don’t have the guts to tell George and Lance that you couldn’t care less about history. You don’t have the guts to take control of your own life. Shit, you didn’t even have the guts to tell me you loved me.” They were both a little taken back at the words, and Catra was even more taken back when she realized she’d shed tears of her own. Adora stepped forward, towards Catra, but Catra stepped back. 

“I…”

“Well, it’s too late for that one anyway.” She turned to grab her backpack before heading for the bedroom door, “Goodbye, Adora.” 

Catra walked out of Adora’s room, out of her house, out of her life and Adora did absolutely nothing to stop her. Catra didn’t expect her to, after all, she had a future, she had plans, she had dreams and ambitions and aspirations and none of them included Catra. If Adora was so deadest on leaving for MU in a few weeks, then that was that, she was basically already there.

She was gone.

Just when Catra needed her most. 

Adora was gone.

Out of her life. 

And she was never coming back to her, no matter how many tears were shed. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Catra ended up moving into Scorpia’s house instead; her mothers didn’t seem to mind and Scorpia was absolutely thrilled at the idea when Catra had originally texted her. 

Scorpia continued to meetup with the group every week, down at the coffee house, even when Catra always opted to stay in bed. She couldn’t blame her, really, because when she and Adora got together, they quickly merged friend groups; it would be pretty awful of her to expect Scorpia to simply cut ties with all her new friends, just like that, especially when one of Adora’s closest friends happened to be Scorpia’s girlfriend. 

A part of Catra felt a little bitter that Scorpia and Perfuma had lasted so long, meanwhile, she and Adora couldn’t even keep hold of a relationship for an entire summer. The other part of her acknowledged that it was stupid of them to get into a relationship the summer before Adora’s freshmen year of college, in the first place, even if they never exactly labelled themselves as being in one. 

Catra missed her. She missed Adora. She missed her more than anything. She missed kissing her, talking to her, laughing with her, sleeping with her (both figuratively and literally), she missed having someone she could tell everything to. She missed the way Adora would look at her, so fondly, and call her, ‘my love’. She missed the way she would always kiss Adora in response. She missed going for drives in her Mustang, missed, lying in her bed, missed taking her to see all the spots around the city where she’d painted murals. She missed being with her. She missed having her around. God, she fucking missed her. 

She found herself playing those stupid songs Adora liked. Half of them being dumb indie rock songs that she’d never listen to otherwise. The other half were old romance songs by some dude she’d never heard of, named Johnny Cash, whose voice was so deep it sent harsh shivers down Catra’s spine, the kind of shivers normally only Adora could trigger. She found herself playing the songs on repeat, loudly through her phone speakers, in an attempt to drown out the sound of her own heartbeat. They didn’t help. All the songs did were make even tears well up in her eyes, tears that always ended up treading down her face and onto one of Scorpia’s spare pillows. She kept listening to them anyway. 

She tried to paint. Tried to draw. Tried to make any kind of art at all. It was close to impossible. Everything she made had traces of Adora in it; it made no sense. She’d been painting for years, it was always her greatest passion, had always come so easy to her. She had known Adora for less than two months and yet the girl had quickly become her muse and now? Now she couldn’t paint a single thing without her making a cameo in it. From her spur of blonde hair, to her ocean eyes, her kind heart, or her soft dimples, her gentle touch, and her fierce bravery, everything about her was undeniably beautiful, and now Catra couldn’t paint anything but her. It drove her insane. It was like Adora had contaminated her art; had taken away the one thing that was hers and made it _theirs._ She knew that wasn’t a fair point to make, that she was the one who had introduced Adora to her art in the first place, still she was livid. 

Adora made everything she painted all the more beautiful just by being a part of it, and yet Catra couldn’t enjoy any of it now. Couldn’t appreciate her own work without inadvertently appreciating Adora, as well. 

She couldn’t help but think back to all their memories together. Couldn’t help but replay all the things Adora had said to her. Couldn’t help but wonder if Adora was doing the same. 

She also couldn’t help but feel anger, hurt, pain at the thought of their fight, of what Adora had said to her, of the Adora letting her leave and not even bothering to say goodbye. 

A part of her hated Adora. 

The other part of her would never stop loving her.  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She’d done nothing but sit in bed and cry. She’d nothing but that for so long. And then the first time she bothered to get out of bed, to go out into the world and try to mend her broken heart, she saw her. 

She saw her downtown, going into some random coffee shop, not their usual one; she assumed it was because Adora was trying to avoid her just as much as she was. She didn’t think the blonde had seen her, at first, and then they made eye contact. It was no more than a second. 

Their eyes met, then Adora looked away, began walking off, left Catra’s view, and was gone. 

Catra couldn’t stop her eyes from drifting down to Adora’s right forearm, where her tattoo would be; she’d wondered for so long if Adora had plans to get hers removed. She had quickly decided, herself, that she wouldn’t, despite how much she hated that stupid alicorn to begin with, she wouldn’t dare remove it. Adora was a part of her, she always would be, nothing would ever change that. Adora had been wearing long sleeves. Catra silently hoped the logo was still there, etched on her skin in dark ink, symbol of memories that could never be replaced. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The day that Adora was set to leave was one of Catra’s worst. 

She’d locked herself in Scorpia’s bathroom with a bottle of rum. 

When the taller woman eventually got the door open, Catra was passed out in the bathroom. Scorpia was so worried that she'd died that she’d launched a bucket of ice water on her (Catra would’ve screamed her head off at her if not for the fact that she was too busy crying) 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the months following Adora’s departure, Catra willed herself not to call her, willed herself not to text her, willed herself not to ask her friends how she was. 

She wanted nothing more than to talk to her; ask her how MU was, ask her if she really ended up driving the 37 hours to get there, ask her anything just to get to hear her voice. 

Instead, she painted. She painted whenever she thought of Adora, and without fail, Adora came off in every single painting. The pieces began to grow on her, she started to embrace having Adora as her muse, and little by little, she held less and less resentment in her heart for the fact that her thing, _her art,_ had also become Adora’s. It was all her and Adora. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 _“Hello?”_ A groggy voice came through the static. 

She couldn’t help it. She missed her. She missed Adora more than anything. She had to hear her voice, had to speak to her again. Even for just one last time. 

_“Hey Bow.”_ She ran a hand over her face, thinking over her words, _“I’m sorry for calling this late, I…”_ She pulled the phone away from her face for a moment, letting out a shaky breath, _“I need to speak to Adora, could you tell her to call me? I don’t know, maybe she changed her number at MU, or… maybe she just blocked my number and if she did, I wouldn’t blame her, but my calls to her haven’t been going through and I just-“_

 _“Oh,”_

_“Bow? You alright?”_ She didn’t like the sound of his voice; didn’t like his harsh gasp; didn’t like how he sounded wounded, broken, hurt; like he could start crying at any moment. 

_“Oh, my god.”_

_“What? What’s wrong?”_ Her eyes widened, _“Bow, is she okay?”_

_“Catra, I’m…“_

_“Where is she?”_

He told her. Told her everything she never wanted to hear, never wanted to know. He was crying. She was, too, though she wouldn’t dare let it show in her voice. He apologized, for not telling her sooner; apparently, it had been nearly four months already; she’d never even made it to MU. She told him that she understood, that it must’ve been very difficult for him and their fathers. He apologized again, regardless. And she cried even harder because that was something about him that reminded her of Adora. 

Apart of her felt a little bit bitter. She couldn’t help but think that if Adora had never ended things, never broken their promises, never left, never gotten on that stupid _plane_ , that this wouldn’t have happened. But she stopped that thought short and scolded herself. This was no one’s fault. This was some stupid joke that the cosmic universe was playing on them; On her, on Bow, on Lance and George, on their friends, on Adora. Taking her away from the people that loved her. God, what a sick fucking joke. 

Catra couldn’t help but think back to the first time she’d ever met her. The first time she’d ever thought that she loved her. 

It wasn’t love, then. Not to say that it never was love with them, it was. Just not then. Obviously. Because she hadn’t known her. She hadn’t known anything about her, other than that she didn’t know when to stop talking. She hadn’t known Adora the way she knew her now. Hadn’t needed Adora like she did now. It was simply wanting. She had wanted Adora. And now? Now she needed her. She needed her more than she’d needed anything or anyone, ever. But there was nothing she could do to have her. 

She was gone.

Just when Catra needed her most. 

Adora was gone.

Out of her life. 

Again. 

But this time, forever. 

And she was never coming back to her, no matter how many tears were shed. 

_”And Catra?”_ Bow had said, right before she’d ended the call, _”After you two, um… You know… she always told me that, regardless of what happened, she always kept true to one of her promises to you. I’m really not sure what she meant by that, or what the promise might’ve been, but I figured you should know.”_

_I promise to never stop loving you, Catra._

**Author's Note:**

> their matching tattoos are of swift wind lmao 
> 
> [if it wasn’t clear, adora ended up taking a flight to MU, like catra had suggested] 
> 
>   
> tumblr: danisdreaming
> 
> twitter: whatarecartoons


End file.
